For so many years I tried so hard to be who I was told to be . . Walk, sit, dress, pray, praise as I was told . . Each movement carefully choreographed trying to ensure I wouldn't get in trouble for doing it wrong.
In public I was one person .. on display . . Stiff . . Scared . . Watching my back and watching every move I made to make sure I was perfect.
The problem is, I'm not perfect. . . I'm not you . . I am the way God made me. He made me this way so that I can reach certain people for Him.
He did not make me to be a clone of any person or group.
He gave me my own style and personality.
He loves me this way.
I love to wear skirts . . Flouncy, fun, flirty . . Oh, yeah!!
But sometimes I want to wear jeans too . .
I love long hair . It's me!!
I am clumsy . . more so when I am nervous around you . .
I praise best with my shoes off . . so I stay at the back of the church so you won't see . . coming before the Lord humbled without shoes longing for Him above all ..
And He uses me in all my imperfections and brokenness. . . He's given me, humble, insignificant me, an amazing outreach to the homeless. He's handed me an opportunity and a responsibility to reach those society would rather not see. To love them, pray for them and provide basic necessities.
All this He's entrusted to me even as messed up as my life can be.
Maybe He's entrusted this to me because I know what it is to be forgotten, judged harshly by those who don't know me and to be waiting for someone to notice me . .
I am honored that He would trust me to love them for Him.
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