It happens . . . you're randomly Googling and find an old article about the passing of a relative from your past . . . what then? How does one know what to do in such a situation? I'm not sure even the best etiquette books would cover this . . .
This actually happened to me. I found out about the death of an ex husband's mom over a year after she passed away. I knew her family felt this loss deeply as her home was always abuzz with traffic of her adult children and many grandchildren visiting and calling.
When I found out about her passing I didn't have an address or phone number for anyone in the family as we had lost touch over the years. I wasn't sure how to track them down. Being the single mom of a teen with aspergers, my plate is always full and, as usual I had nothing left to give so simply shut down my feelings. I tucked this loss into the back of my mind and went back to day-to-day living/trying to keep us going.
Now I'm feeling . . . well, I wish I'd known right away when she passed so Matt and I could have attended the funeral. Having Matt there may have made it easier on his father.
That's all 20/20 hindsight though, and we can't change the past. It was what it was.
This actually happened to me. I found out about the death of an ex husband's mom over a year after she passed away. I knew her family felt this loss deeply as her home was always abuzz with traffic of her adult children and many grandchildren visiting and calling.
When I found out about her passing I didn't have an address or phone number for anyone in the family as we had lost touch over the years. I wasn't sure how to track them down. Being the single mom of a teen with aspergers, my plate is always full and, as usual I had nothing left to give so simply shut down my feelings. I tucked this loss into the back of my mind and went back to day-to-day living/trying to keep us going.
Now I'm feeling . . . well, I wish I'd known right away when she passed so Matt and I could have attended the funeral. Having Matt there may have made it easier on his father.
That's all 20/20 hindsight though, and we can't change the past. It was what it was.
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