My Long~Ago

Once, long long ago, I was an at-home-mom~ the marriage was a mess (husband had a girlfriend), but being able to be home meant I was able to really concentrate on being a mother. . . every morning I woke, fed my baby and took her for a long buggy ride through the neighborhood  . . then we would return to our cute little apartment and she would nap and play with her toys while I caught up laundry and general housework. . . by that time a friend of mine with a toddler wound up and dressed so I'd pop my baby girl back into her buggy and we'd stroll off to a play date  . . . . sometimes our play dates were walks to the library, visits to the Toledo Zoo (free on Mondays back then) or simply hanging out in their back yard .  . . later we would return home so I could cook supper (my fav was a platter with a bed of rice then a bed of peas on that and two (2) rock Cornish game hens cooked tender sitting on top!!) . .  . as a breastfeeding mom, the ability to be home with my baby was essential  . . these happy snuggle, kissy-face, play date days ended all too soon  . . .
Given the option I would definitely love to be able to be home and properly care for my family . . working 48+ hours/ week to barely make bills and never having enough time/energy to properly cook and clean for my family is ridiculous, but, as a single mom who only has 3 1/2 years of college, what am I to do??
Moving to a boat will ease up the pressure to continually chase money that never seems to cover our real needs . . Once we are settled I will be able to make serious changes . . . I dream of a husband for me and father for Matt who will be able to provide for us in such a way that I can stay home and be a proper wife and mother, but that is in His time and I must be patient . . Meanwhile I can Not continue at this pace indefinitely (the mini stroke I April brought that fact home!!)  and can't  provide financially with this crazy $709/month house payment and me only making $8.34/hour, so . . . we will have the terribly exciting adventure of live aboard until the Lord decides I am ready for a really good husband who will also love Matt as much as I do . . .  and then? A new adventure will begin . ..